When the topic of counseling comes up, people have some immediate thoughts. Some of those thoughts are reasons NOT to go to counseling. Our reason #1 is, "I can't afford it."
Money is a touchy subject. We all have our financial priorities. And for some, money is the single greatest stressor that can think of. So, I don't want to dismiss this reason for not seeking counseling. But to make an informed decision as to whether of not something can be afforded, we need to be able to identify its value. This is where we often disagree on finances. The husband says, "We can't afford that." The wife says, "It's 75% off, it's a great value! We'll never see that price again!" For the two to come to a real agreement (not a compromise), they need to look at the value of the item and compare it to the other needs they have financially. (Compromises are excellent, but stick with me here.) Counseling is just like anything else. Unless we can look at the value for the household, it can be hard to justify. So, what value does counseling hold? Our mental/emotional/spiritual status is at the very core of our being. All of our relationships are affected by our emotional state and our ability to function at that level. If we are stressed, it takes a toll on all of our loved ones and all of our friendships and even our business relationships. Stress affects our ability to think clearly and do our work well. And probably most importantly, stress affects our bodies. The term psychosomatic is thrown around frequently. It's often coupled with the word illness. So what does psychosomatic mean exactly? Well, psycho essentially means mind and somatic essentially means body. So, psychosomatic is "mindbody." We can have psychosomatic responses and psychosomatic diseases. These come from the body reacting to mental or emotional stress. Probably the most commonly understood psychosomatic response involves what is known as the Fight or Flight response. This is of course the body preparing for action when a threat is perceived. A perceived "bad guy" coming out of a dark alley with a knife or even a poisonous snake appearing in our path will naturally bring the rush of adrenaline and all that comes with it. But neither of these is a common experience for most people. We can even find ourselves feeling the same way during more common stressful events in our daily lives. Typically, the adrenaline rush and the outward symptoms fade fairly quickly after the perceived danger is past. But in our society, we submit ourselves to all sorts of stressors on a regular basis. Because of this we also see other psychosomatic symptoms. Common among these are digestive troubles. Acid re-flux and ulcers are common among high stress individuals. Then we have the term, "nervous tic." By definition, this term implies some sort of involuntary movement that is tied to anxiety or stress. As you can see, our bodies are heavily influenced by our emotional states. So what does this have to do with counseling? Let's face it, none of us likes to feel stressed. None of us deliberately gets stuck there. But we do get stuck there. People are highly adaptable. When we are forced to deal with certain unpleasant things in our lives, we find ways to cope and adapt. Unfortunately, after life changes and becomes more normal, we sometimes continue with our unhealthy coping mechanisms because they have become habitual Other times, we may have never learned healthy ways to deal with certain types of stress and we just do our best which might not be the best for us. Unfortunately, we often know we are stressed and struggling. But somehow we decide that we can't afford to do anything about it, or the help we can get won't make enough of a difference and justify the cost. At Grace for Individual and Family Therapy, we don't want to see anyone pay large amounts of money to attend multiple sessions each week for years on end. Our approach is all about helping each individual find ways to deal with their struggles quickly then follow that up by helping our clients build a support system in themselves and their families to prepare them for whatever might come their way. We keep our services affordable by using a sliding scale system. We have a base rate but will adjust each client's fees according to their income. Then we create an individual plan centered around the particular needs and personality of the individual. And we only continue to work with clients for as long as they really need it. You can say that it's our goal to work ourselves out of a job.
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AuthorRev. Matthew Hogan is a Certified Temperament Pastoral Counselor, Licensed Pastoral Counselor and is a Professional Clinical Member of the National Christian Counselors Association Archives
March 2021
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